|
Reflection on the Apostolic
Visit of Benedict XVI
by Matthew J. Strickenberger
From the very moment we were first informed as a seminary that we would be able to participate in the celebration of the papal liturgy in Washington DC, the seminary community became a hub of conversation and excitement. We all began to seriously consider the visit of the Holy Father and what it would mean for our nation, especially given the message of Hope which he was going to share with us.
As months went by, we found ourselves reading, studying, and praying with his encyclical letters, especially his most recent, Spe Salvi – Saved in Hope. With all of this preparation, another much more intimate surprise was presented to us.
|
During one of his regularly scheduled conferences to the seminarians, the Rector of St. Mary’s informed us that he was notified the previous day that two tickets were available for seminarians to serve the papal mass in New York City – one for the mass at St. Patrick Cathedral and one for the closing mass at Yankee Stadium. Numerous members of the community rushed to sign up for this opportunity, and from these names I was selected to serve the mass at Yankee Stadium.
From this moment, those of us who were selected began a journey which simply could not be adequately described with any words, phrase, or expression. This was truly an unbelievable and an indescribable moment. Over the next two weeks we attempted to obtain details of what we would be doing, where we would have to report, and how we would obtain the appropriate security credentials – no details were forthcoming, and we began to become greatly concerned that this reality might not unfold as it was expected. However, several days before the arrival of the Holy Father, we learned that accommodations would be provided for in Manhattan, and that we merely needed to show up at the hotel that weekend – with the hope of further details upon our arrival, we departed Baltimore by train for New York.
|
Whenever one arrives in New York, there is an element of magnanimity to the city, of feeling somewhat overwhelmed – but our arrival was one which carried with it an even greater realization – we were going to serve mass with the pope! We rushed to the hotel and quickly discovered our credentials and tickets for the mass at Yankee Stadium. The other seminarian examined his ticket, and I leafed through my packet of information and quickly discovered my security credentials which, covered with the papal seal and other security markings read ‘stage access.’ I looked at it in awe. This meant that what I had yearned for, serving with the Holy Father, was actually going to take place, all I could do was smile. I also received a copy of the program for the Liturgy, which listed me by name as an acolyte – another moment which found me at a loss for words.
That evening we tried to get a good night’s sleep, but could only sleep for several hours as we needed to be at St. Patrick’s Cathedral for mass early the next morning – a mass which we still had no real information about. We set out for the cathedral at about 5:30 am and truly were going only on a wing and a prayer – with no information or without even a ticket. As this mass was for the clergy and religious of the Archdiocese of New York, it was a very selective event and very few tickets were even issued.
|
We arrived at the staging area for the mass, the Palace hotel across the street, where cardinals, bishops, priests, and religious were gathering. Dressed in cassocks as our seminarian garb, we were cordially welcomed and were told to wait for the other seminarians to arrive. We chatted with numerous priests of the area, all of whom were filled with that unique New York charm, and had some very memorable moments of fraternity with our brothers in the Lord’s service.
Gradually, the hotel became filled with clergy and religious who were making their way through security into the cathedral. We, however, remained outside of the security gate, still simply hoping to get inside. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the seminarians of New York arrived and were rushed through security into the cathedral. We simply blended with them and quickly found ourselves in the security zone entering the cathedral.
We gathered in the space behind the altar of the cathedral which was filling with throngs of people – you could feel the excitement building. The seminarian with me was scheduled to serve this mass, he and the other servers were whisked away to begin preparations to serve the mass. The rest of us, approximately 25 or so, were ushered to a niche behind the ambo where folding chairs had been set up for us. It was now 7:30 AM and mass was not scheduled to begin until 9:15.
Since we had time to spare, I took some time to wander through the cathedral, speaking with several priests and religious, and taking pictures of this marvelous event. Given our position as close to the altar, I had the opportunity to walk through the makeshift sacristy which was set up close to our seating area. There were set out all of the elements to be used in the course of our celebration that morning, the book of the gospels, the ciboria, and the chalices, including the one to be used by the Holy Father. At that point it hit me how close I truly was to this event. It was a profound moment when I realized, as did all of those who were in a similar position, just how incredible an experience this truly was.
In this behind the scenes look at the mass, it also reminded me that while this is such an extraordinary event, it is also the normal event of every mass, that even though we are going to be in the presence of the Vicar of Christ, it is the same Christ we celebrate who is present to us at every liturgy whether it is presided over the Holy Father or by our own parish priest. This became a vocational moment for me as a seminarian – it was a realization of the universality and true profundity of the mysteries we celebrate as a Catholic people.
Our seats for the mass, as they were at the front of the cathedral, somewhat limited our visibility to the rest of the cathedral. However, there was no doubt when the Holy Father arrived. His motorcade pulled up to the cathedral and the entire building burst forth with cheers and shouts of joy at his arrival. As he entered the building, it lit up with thousands of flashes from cameras all trying to capture a moment in this grand event. The Holy Father gradually made his way down the center aisle and up into the sanctuary – we were only able to catch glimpses of him at this moment, but as the only one in white – it was always clear to us where he was – our Shepard was with us.
|
The Holy Father vested for the mass in the crypt of the cathedral and as the procession began, a marked change took place. As has happened in the mass at the Nationals Stadium days earlier, the vocal exuberance of his initial arrival became a hushed joy as he began to process in the opening of the Mass. The music was incredible – the organ and instruments played, the choir sang, and most of us who gathered simply found ourselves standing back in awe of the event unfolding before us – the reverence of this event was stilling, it was an encounter of Christ among us.
As this liturgy continued, our view was blocked by the sea of bishops and cardinals who now took their place in the sanctuary – thankfully there was a TV set up near us where we could get a better view of the mass. It was rather odd to be that close, yet not being able to see. In fact, a moment which sticks out in my own mind which brought the reality of our participation in this event with the Holy Father home for me, was during the incensations throughout the mass. We would see the clouds of incense on the TV screen, then we would look just above the TV in the cathedral and see the smoke rising directly in front of us – it was a visible reminder of our proximity to the event so many throughout he nation were witnessing on TV, yet here we were in the midst of it.
As the mass concluded, the seminarians began to come to a realization – as the procession was going to leave the altar, it may pass directly in front of us. We watched with expectation to see which way the procession would turn, and one seminarian yelled out ‘he’s coming our way!’ We all clambered to get close to the aisle, and we stood with only a small railing separating us from the path where he would pass by. The procession made its way by us, and here came the Holy Father. We all had our cameras out, snapping as many photos as we could. We cheered and screamed, reaching out for him. Unfortunately, his security detail was not permitting anyone to touch him, but as he passed by within two feet of us, being that close to his presence was the next best thing.
|
In the excitement of the moment, time seemed to slow and I recall catching a gaze from his eyes as he blessed us. Through this gaze I came to know more clearly, as I had experienced in the mass at DC, the loving and nurturing presence of this shepherd – it was a moment which took my breath away. There has been much commentary throughout the media since his election that this would be a man who’s perceived personality and previous position would cause lead him to be a stoic or passionately stunted pontiff – but this was an encounter of a gentle and loving shepherd, a man in the shoes of the fisherman who tends the flock of the Lord with pure compassion and fatherly care. It was a moment which will stand in my life as a profoundly formative encounter – despite the fact that due to my jubilation of the moment, all of my pictures of this encounter are blurry and unrecognizable.
After the mass, we gathered around the seminarians who served with him, and a few who were able to kiss his ring, and we shared their joy with them, living in the excitement of the experience, an encounter which none of us could fully describe, all we could do was smile and share our emotions. I left the cathedral that day exhausted from the experience, but rejuvenated in my own life of faith and motivated and strengthened as a Catholic to live my faith more fully.
Later that evening I was to report to Yankee Stadium for a rehearsal for those of who were to serve the liturgy the next day. As I made my way to the stadium, the entire area was filled with construction workers, performers and security personal, all going over their routines and procedures for the liturgy only hours away. I walked into the field area and became filled with the light shining forth from the stage created for the celebration. This stage filled the field and music filled the stadium. I remember thinking to myself it was nice to have music being played – it helps the work go faster. Then I realized there was an entire orchestra and chorus on the field rehearsing for the mass – the magnanimity of the moment hit me, and I was again confronted by my utter disbelief that this was actually going to take place.
|
As the seminarians gathered to walk through our parts in the liturgy, our rehearsal was interrupted as the papal masters of ceremonies arrived to walk through the mass with the event coordinator. We stepped back and watched how the officials from the Vatican worked through a papal mass – that in itself was a learning experience, and it was a truly exciting thing to experience. I was able to listen to numerous acts rehearse for the Concert of Hope which would take place before the liturgy the next day. Numerous artists from across the world gathered and rehearsed that night – the rehearsal was a concert in itself.
I ended up speaking with a woman and her husband who were there to practice as well. She looked extremely familiar and eventually introduced herself as Dana, the Irish music artist. She was familiar to me because her music was at the heart of World Youth Day in Denver Colorado in 1993. I remember participating in that event at a high school student, and I will always consider it as an essential part of my own vocation. In that event, John Paul II reminded all of us of the abundant life to which we are called in Jesus.
|
Dana and I shared our own memories of that event with one another, and of the abundant outpouring of the Holy Spirit which took place on that occasion – the fruit of which, through all the efforts of John Paul II, are coming to fruition in the Church, especially in the lives of priests and religious who were formed by that experience. We drew connections between that event and this one, noting a direct continuity especially in the Hope of Jesus Christ who continues to give life abundantly to his people. We shared a moment of prayer and assured one another of our continued prayers as well. I walked away from the moment of sharing faith with this star on the world stage, reminded of the common connectivity of all of us as a people of God, that this journey of faith is one we walk together, regardless of our position, our privilege, or our power.
Our rehearsal continued as the papal mc’s finished and I was assigned to function as a master of ceremonies for the concelebrating priests who would be vested on the altar. These would be the priests from the five dioceses of the United States which are celebrating their 200th anniversary this year (Baltimore, Louisville, Philadelphia, Boston, and New York) We left the stadium late that evening, eager for the next day and hopefully of a restful night in preparation.
Early the next day I left for the stadium, traveling on the subway. I didn’t even make it to the train that morning before I encountered pilgrims from across the country who were making the same journey I was. The excitement was building, and our pilgrimage was culminating in this final moment with the Holy Father. Arriving at Yankee Stadium, I was unable to exit the station due to the sea of humanity which was waiting to enter the stadium. Police were attempting to direct the crowd, but chaos to some degree seemed to reign with the excitement and anticipation of the people. Fortunately, once I exited the station, I was able to bypass the crowd and enter through a private entrance at the back of the stadium.
I met up with several other seminarians and we waited for our scheduled practice to begin. I was able to purchase numerous items at the souvenir stand to be blessed by the Holy Father during the liturgy. I filled my pockets with rosaries, crosses, and holy cards to bring back for family and friends; my pockets now bulged, thankfully covered by my vestments. We were ushered into our vesting area, which also happened to be the Yankee’s locker room. In that room were all of the elements for the liturgy, carts filled with ciboria, crosses, candles, and a crew of people ironing vestments for the cardinals of the Church who would be vesting in the same room. We stored our items in the player’s cells and proceeded to wander through the stadium as we awaited our rehearsal. We showed our badges to security and quickly ascended the altar platform. We looked in awe at the rest of the stadium as we stood at the altar where in just a few hours the Holy Father would celebrate mass with us.
|
We took many pictures of his throne and his great seal which hung above it; we posed for pictures behind the altar and called our family and friends just to tell them where we were standing. I called some friends from home who were able to come to the mass and who were just finding their seats – we waved at each other in the stadium and marveled at how we were able to celebrate in such an event. The papal mc’s eventually assembled us and walked through the liturgy once again. They repeated the actions and motions of the liturgy with us again and again; I stood back and watched them rehearse with the deacon proclaiming the gospel at least 6 times, to make sure everything was done just right. At one point, one of the mc’s borrowed my pen to make markings on the carpet around the altar where certain individuals were to stand; everything was planned out down to the smallest detail.
After this rehearsal, we returned back to the Yankee dugout to await the beginning of the liturgy. We were able to witness most of the concert before the mass and as the crowd in the stadium grew, so did the excitement of what was going to take place. I was a part of the initial procession with the priests prior to the arrival of the Holy Father. As we entered the field, after being corralled in the dugout, the stadium cheered for their priests, and the priests cheered back at them – everyone was overcome with excitement. We took our place on the stage and waited for the arrival of the Holy Father.
|
As with the mass the day before, there was no doubt when the Holy Father arrived. The stadium shook as the throng of people took to their feet screaming and cheering as he arrived in the popemobile. I remember saying to myself ‘here we go.’ The moment had finally arrived, the pope was in our midst and he was received once again with absolute joy. I stood there on the altar in the joy of a spirit of prayer, for I carried with me that day the presence and prayers of my own loved ones, all of the needs and concerns of our own diocese, and all of the intentions of those whom I had promised to pray for – they all stood with me at that moment, and it was an honor to bring them to this occasion of celebration and hope.
The Holy Father arrived and vested for the liturgy, the second procession began, and he was led to the stage. He emerged from the Yankee dugout and the crowd again exploded in thunderous applause and shouts of excitement. As he made his way up the ramp, my section of priests from Philadelphia and Louisville realized that the Holy Father would walk directly in front of us. We made our way to the front of our seats and pressed against the ramp that led to the altar. Again, in seemingly slow motion, the Holy Father approached us. This time, however, as I was mere inches from him, I decided to forgo my effort with my camera and simply enjoy the power and profundity of the moment itself.
|
The Holy Father rounded the corner and faced directly towards us – my heart welled up inside me as I caught his gaze. This gaze pierced me even more powerfully than before, and was a gaze of sheer love – it was in a very real and palpable way the gaze of Christ himself. This was the moment which I will treasure above all others from the event, as it was a moment of encountering the presence of God at work in this simple worker in the vineyard of the Lord – it was a moment of encountering Hope in Christ. A hope which we are all called to be a witness to in the world in just as profound a way.
|
Throughout the Liturgy I directed and tended to the needs of the concelebrating priests and was able to simply sit back and enjoy this celebration with the Holy Father. His words to us that morning reflected on the importance of true freedom in Christ, and of our role as Catholic’s in America today to follow in the footsteps of those who have gone before us in faith, and to continue to work diligently to bring about the Kingdom of God in our midst. He told us that we must continue to carry on this work, to defend life, to educate, to care for the poor and the sick; and building on the foundations laid out for us, the Church in America must begin to rise. These words lifted up the spirit of those who heard them – and it led the crowd to applaud on two occasions, as he stressed the importance of defending life and as he stressed the need for young people to follow Christ as priests and consecrated men and women in the service of the Church.
I could not help but recall my own experience and vocational rootedness in the similar words of John Paul II; and for those who did not believe that Benedict XVI would be a powerful and motivating force for the American Church during this visit, it was clear that such statements were quashed in the moment of a few days of encountering the Holy Father’s presence among us.
I have no doubt that his visit will carry with it a new springtime for vocation in all aspects of the life of Church. As I pondered his homily at this moment, I realized that these words and the words of his entire visit would need to be reflected on in great detail as I returned home, but for now, the joy of his proclamation was simply an experience to be lived in the moment.
After the liturgy, I remained on the stage with the priests and the bishops who watched the Holy Father make his final journey through the stadium in the pope-mobile. The crowd again cheered continuously until he finally exited through the back of the stadium. I recall us running to the back of the altar and watching his very final moments among us as he was driven through several gates and disappeared from the field. He had departed from us, but what took place that day, and throughout the week, would remain with us, and his challenge would ring in our hearts for the rest of our lives.
|
At the end of it all, we returned to the Yankee’s locker room and were able to have some refreshments with the cardinals as they were awaiting their transportation from the stadium. It was a privilege to be able to share our experiences with them and they graciously shared their own encounters with us as well; this was yet another privileged opportunity which I will greatly treasure. One security person commented that he thought he had gone to heaven, he was in a room filled with cardinals and the room was the locker room of the Yankees.
One of the other servers of the mass told us that we had to follow him to see something. We walked through the hallways of the stadium and came to a room which was set aside as the umpire’s locker room. We entered this room which was covered in curtains and regal decorations from floor to ceiling and which had a large crucifix at one end – this was the papal sacristy, set up for the pope to use before and after the mass. We all took pictures, and the security detail encouraged us to take advantage of the food which was set out for the Holy Father. I enjoyed a few ‘papal’ cookies and saved a bottle of orange Fanta, which has been said to be the favorite soda of Joseph Ratzinger. Everyone relaxed and enjoyed the moment, including the security personnel who got their cameras out, took pictures, and shared with us some they had taken as they pope walked through the same hallways moments before.
|
These were the memories and encounters we experienced throughout the rest of the afternoon and even on our journey back to Baltimore. Yet, despite all of the wonderful stories, the behind the scenes access, and the unimaginable privilege to be involved in such an intimate way with the apostolic visit, the message of the Holy Father and the simple
presence of his witness will stand out in my mind as the most important aspect of this experience for me. He came to us as the vicar of Christ, to make Jesus present to us in a unique and profound way, he implored us to continue to pray for a new Pentecost in the Church in America, and he called us to live as heralds of hope to a world in need.
The final words of his homily at Yankee Stadium leave all of us with a source for ongoing prayer and reflection: "Happy are you who believe!" (cf. 1 Pet 2:7). Let us turn to Jesus! He alone is the way that leads to eternal happiness, the truth who satisfies the deepest longings of every heart, and the life who brings ever new joy and hope, to us and to our world. Amen.”
